Last night I had a dream.
I dreamt I had bowel cancer.
The doctor told me I had two months.
My first thought was: “Guts.”
And I said to the doctor:
“Two months. Right.
I’m a bit upset.
I don’t feel like I’m finished here yet.
I feel like there’s still more I should do.
But I guess that’s life.”
I tried to shrug and then I stumbled out
Told my parents
Tried to figure out how I would tell my students.
Would I see the term out with them?
No, I should say goodbye, quit work,
Spend time with the family.
I kept thinking:
“My seven book series.
I won’t get to finish my seven book series.”
I kept thinking how terrible
That would be.
Would two months be enough time
To finish a seven book series?
There was no way I could do it justice
In two months.
I should put aside work and make memories
With those I loved.
I thought of how I’d miss my family
Then I thought of how heaven would be incredible.
God would take everything away from me now
To give me more later.
But I just felt like there was
Unfinished work to do.
Besides all that, as I got sicker,
I wouldn’t be able to do a thing.
I woke up, and I thought:
“Lord, you could end this life now.
Help me to make every second count.”
All we have on earth
Is a fragile, pale glory
Swiftly broken by the vanishing sun.
We wake to another world
Where there will never be